A Week In Study, Also, Interpersonal Relationships

The week was good. Thursday I went out with Dana, and we've spoken since then once or twice. Oddly, after I got back from dinner on Thursday, I fell asleep - at 7:30 p.m. Didn't wake up until the next morning. I don't quite understand that, since I hadn't been lacking sleep, but oh well. I've had worse happen to me than losing an evening to sleep.

Friday was entertaining. We went out for Mike's birthday party. We went to a restaurant called Rolls and Bowls, a sushi and such place. I tried cucumber for the first time, and by God it tastes like nothing at all. I could eat a barrel of these things. Though I am slightly bitter that when they say "steamed shrimp" for one of the ingredients, they mean "we throw on two shrimp." Two. I'm hungrier than that.

Then we went to see Kung Fu Panda, which I hadn't seen before, and which is surprisingly good. It messes around with a lot of the established kung-fu movie tropes, and has a good story. Even if I can follow the narrative arc easily of "beginning, establishing characters, ascending action, preview of villainy, fun times as the story unfolds, villain attacks, low point as characters are demoralized, upswing, final battle," that's not necessarily a bad thing, since most movies are like that. I really enjoyed it. Even if Matt did deliberately laugh during inappropriate times, because he's a misanthrope like that.

Then pool. Not much to say here, I lost. Kevin managed not to finish by sinking his own ball this time, like he did against Mike and me earlier in the week. I...honestly don't remember who won. Doesn't really matter, we played like fifteen games.

Saturday, I went with Rachel and some of her friends to Lake Wauburg, to which I have never been. I got there first and explored, finding a 55-foot-tall rock wall that I had originally planned to climb, but quailed and left. Not entirely my fault, though, as none of the girls wanted to climb it either except Rachel, and she demurred on account of nobody else was going to and there was a big line.

So we went to the other side of the lake and borrowed some kayaks. I've never kayaked before, but it was surprisingly easy. I managed not to roll the boat and drown myself, which is a plus. I went swimming, met a bunch of girls in the water, suffered once again from the Paradox of the Glasses-Wearer, made a new friend named Julie.

When I got home, nobody had moved in the time I was gone. I played a bit of WoW, then went downstairs and watched Die Hard with everyone. This was the result of an argument between me and the others over which was the rotten Die Hard movie, #2 or #3. I maintained #3 sucked, they maintained #2 sucked. I suggested we compromise and watch #1. We agreed. It was as good as it ever was.

I was dismayed to hear that at the end of the movie, everyone was packing it in. In summary, my friends, after a long and hard day of sitting around the house, punctuated by a grueling expedition to Publix to buy some food, decided to call it a night at ten o'clock p.m. on a Saturday. This...annoyed me. So I went out and visited Henry, then eventually resigned myself to the fact that nothing was going to happen and returned home. But I tried, dammit, I tried.

But whatever. On Sunday, I started the new D&D campaign with Chuck DMing and Steven, Matt, and Victoria with me. It's this weird variant called "gestalt" where we all play two character classes at once, very overpowered, but interesting. It allows for a changeable style of gameplay.

At the end of the session, we heard that Megacomics, the local comics/games/Magic card shop, was closing its doors for the very last time that day, so we all piled into Chuck's car and took advantage of the "Everything is 50% or 75% off" sale. Though there is a silver lining - the shop may soon open up again under a new owner.

But interacting with the others this week has taught me a valuable lesson about two people I regularly interact with, those being Mike and Victoria.

They...don't like me. This is the only conclusion I can draw. Despite apparently being my friends and hanging out where I hang out, they seem to take every opportunity to call me out, to put me down, to just generally crap in my casserole. I have a couple of theories as to why this is true.

On Mike's part, he and I have very similar personalities, except for a few key differences. Both of us act in a way that annoys the other, insofar as we both think we're right about everything and are similarly loath to admit we're wrong. Whenever a clash of facts occurs, one or the other of us races to the Internet to prove the point, with the person proved wrong dismissing the argument or just giving the point up, claiming that he is no longer interested. Both of us do this. I am realizing the futility of the whole thing.

As for me relating to him, I see a lot in him that was once in me...and a lot about him that I still have within me, and I don't like it. I see a lot in him that is also in myself, and it makes me angry, like I'm looking at a backsliding version of myself. Bluntly, there's a lot in him I see in myself that I no longer want to. So I guess I sort of resent him. Not the fairest thing in the world, but there we are.

Victoria? Ex-girlfriend, plus she's a little bit psycho. Her admission. So no real surprises there.

My new plan is this: I'll simply limit my contact with these two to the absolute bare minimum that is required for things like getting work done around the house, interacting with each other in a group context, all that sort of thing. Talking to them when unnecessary doesn't really do me or anyone else any good - people tell me that it annoys them when Mike and I snipe at each other, and I can't imagine my squabbles with Victoria endear me any more to the people around me, so I say, fuck it and good riddance.

Some might wonder how I'll avoid contact with a person who lives with me. To those people, I refer them to my fourth roommate, Anne-Flore, who hardly says a word to Mike or Zack, despite living with them. They just have nothing to do with her, and she with them. I can pull that off if she can.

I know he'll read this. Mike. Victoria will either read it on her own or be referred to it by Mike. I don't really care. Them knowing about this change will only make it easier, unless either of them makes the perplexing move of deliberately confronting me about my isolationism at every opportunity. Unless they actually derive some sick pleasure from cutting me down (which I don't really think they do, I'm just a convenient target when I'm around), I can't see this happening. So them knowing won't alter the plan at all.

This really came to a head a few days ago, when I decided I would put two columns on a bit of paper I carry in my pocket, one each for Mike and Victoria, and every time one of them said something hurtful, rude, hostile, or just generally mean-spirited to me without provocation (obviously, we go back and forth a lot, exchanging volleys of barbs, I mean the instances wherein I would merely walk into the room or say something like "What's this music you're listening to?" and get blasted for it), I would put a little tick mark underneath the column appropriate. After only two days, I was...distressed, let's say, at the rate at which the little tick marks accumulated. Seeing concrete evidence like that was really what convinced me to make this change.

Michelle said he and the others are holding me back, and cautioned me about spending time around Victoria. Chuck and Henry both identify Mike as "the ultimate cock-block," both of them using those exact words without knowing the other did so, and both have told me I'm a fool for maintaining ties with Victoria after our history. I listen very closely to what these people tell me about my life, since a lot of the time they're right. (Michelle is my sister and knows more about interpersonal relationships than anyone else I know, I've listened closely to Henry since his advice changed my life, and Chuck is generally knowledgeable, despite kind of being a jackass a lot of the time.)

So whatever. Hello and farewell, say I, I know a lotta people and two less ain't gonna kill me. Especially two less people who take every opportunity to belittle me. And while some contact is inevitable, I'll just swallow their words and not respond unless absolutely necessary to the plot.

k. That's a plan. Now to see if I can follow through with it.